• Let’s get iut over with: Off duty, 42-year-old Bündchen is giving mythic goddess. The godmother of the beach wave’s hair flows in its natural state. Her makeup-free skin is a preternatural Nars Laguna bronze. She wears a chestnut brown bandeau bikini top and high-waisted jean cutoffs—she dons only crop tops or bikinis while I’m there, because shirts and surnames are superfluous when you’re Gisele. Her stature might be intimidating if she didn’t also possess a boundless golden retriever–like energy.
• As most sentient beings know, Bündchen is emerging from a long and productive union to once-again former NFL quarterback Tom Brady—god or pariah, you pick. The supercouple finalized their divorce last October after a slow burn of headlines that intermixed the fate of their marriage with that of his career:
• There was Brady’s long-​anticipated retirement in February 2022, of which Bündchen had seemed in favor; his un-retirement 40 days later; his 11-day absence from Tampa Bay Buccaneers training camp to address “personal” things; the hiring of attorneys; and, after a garish but brief divorce watch, the dropping of the other shoe: nearly identical statements vowing to be amicable co-parents and professing gratitude for their time together. By the time Brady re-retired in February, the pair had consciously uncoupled.

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