• “M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous,” Carlson said. “Until the moment when you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity. They’ve won.”
• Carlson declared that “woke M&M’s have returned”  the company introduced new spokescandies.
• “The green M&M’s got her boots back but apparently is now a lesbian, maybe, and there is also a plus-sized, obese purple M&M’s,” he said. “So we’re going to cover that, of course. Because that’s what we do.”

Tagged: TV